So yesterday was the "court date" for the reduction in child support. I didn't really think about it all weekend, I didn't feel worried or scared. Whenever I did start to think of it, I'd say - God, I know you the outcome, so I'm going to leave it with you. Once Jack & I got to the courthouse, I was a bit nervous. More worried about actually being in the same room with the ex (after 8 years) than anything else. We stayed in the courtroom because every time the elevator opened, I jumped out of my skin. That was a better plan than continuing to be startled for 20 minutes. When he and two other people came in, I just happened to look up and out of the corner of my eye, recognized him, although he is extremely swollen from the chemo/radiation. I instantly started shaking, and Jack grabbed my hand. When it was our turn, I was able to speak for myself (trying this with no lawyer, as it is what it is, no lawyer will make it different). He has been awarded SSDI, so that is that. They provided me with a copy of his award letter, and the kids will be eligible for a benefit from that. So I guess he gets what he wanted, no child support directly. I didn't ask for back support because it is minimal in the grand scheme of things and I just wanted this to be over. We waited and moved slowly to get out of the court-room as I didn't want to run into him, but his current wife (CW) asked if we could talk and she had sent him down with the other person - I think his caregiver. The CW said that they'd been trying to reach me to set up trusts for the children, because he was given 2 years to live in April 2011. They were using the wrong name at the post office box, so it was being returned. She also said that ex's parents came into the hospital room in April 2011 right before brain surgery and had ex sign papers saying all his estate would be split between his two brothers instead of going to his wife and children. All I can say is leopards don't change their spots. I really got the feeling that CW is being genuine. She said that she and ex were separated for 2 years prior to him being diagnosed w/cancer. She came back to take care of him because there was no one else. I say she's a better woman than I am.
I ended up taking the whole day off from work so I could go to the Soc. Sec. office. After a very long time there and a very kind worker (a little shocking, but I'm not going to lie - she was fantastic), she told me the kids would each be getting a monthly stipend from SS, and it totals more than child support was.
God knew this all along. I'm glad I trusted His plan. I would have totally screwed it up!
It's a new day, new mercies, and the sun is shining. Thank you God for your serenity and the prayers to remember it. And really - Jack was amazing. That is the man I married. It was my privilege and honor to have him next to me.