Sunday, July 27, 2014

A Little Peace and Quiet, Sort of...

I guess I've been away longer than I thought.  July is now nearly over, and it's been just crazy.  I can't believe in 3 weeks, LT will be at college.  He's been staying at my parents, and I think he's enjoying it.  I miss him, but he does call me quite a bit, so that makes me feel better.  Miss Abby is having some anxious moments, over what, I'm not exactly sure.  Just hope the latest issues with her maternal parent aren't serious.  Maggie continues to be a ball of energy, playing tennis, learning to drive, and generally being much perkier than I ever am.  I think this must be a genetic  Jack is on the last day of a quick work trip, and I've had exactly 3 hours to myself over those 4 days.  It's been lovely, but I canned tomato juice, so I've been working all those hours!  
Over this weekend, I also met a new friend and helped her at an estate sale for 2 days.  What a scream.  We don't commonly have those around here, but where she's from, they are very common, and she started a business here.  It's so fun.  Sort of like an auction and a garage sale, but with no bartering.  The 2nd day has 1/2 price after 1, then the 3rd day is 75% off.  I didn't stop by today, so I'm not sure how busy it was, but the first day they handed out 36+ numbers to enter the house.  It was so tiny AND packed, that they could only let in 18 people at a time.  I had so much fun. 
I spoke with a friend/counselor the other day - still trying to get through this blah feeling.  She recommended I figure out what I want to do with the next 20 years of my life, not that being "mom" no longer takes 24 hours of my day.  I really want to work in a library or be a private investigator.  So, I guess I will begin investigating (haha - pun!) those as possible options.  I liked that estate sale thing, but it is LOTS of hard work.  
Oh, in an interesting turn of events, I received a letter from Jake.  From Prison.  He wants me to intervene with Jack and encourage Jack to have a relationship with him.  I'm not really sure that's what Jack wants, or he'd already have done it, nor am i sure that it is what's best.  The worst part is through this all, Jake has never said one time that he was sorry for what he did to start this whole chain of events, nor the actions he did to worsen it.  I'm just thankful for God's protection over my kids while they were younger.  God is so good.  Amazingly good. I haven't written him back because what I want to say, he probably won't want to hear. 
I guess I'd better get back to enjoying my time alone until Abby gets here. 
Keeping my blog friends in my thoughts and prayers.  There are still really good people in the world, and it's great to actually see them.  

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

It's July already?

I can't believe it's July already.  How does this summer keep rushing by?  I'm doing better with the depression.  Glad that the sun is out most days.  That seems to be helping.  Tomatoes are on the plants - just waiting to turn yellow, then orange then red.  When the tiny ones pop out now, I grab them and eat them before I can get to the house!  So delicious.
Maggie & LT went on a retreat.  It was glorious to have a peaceful house for a few days.  Then they were back, and LT is back with the grands.  Maggie has taken on the 16 y-o angst and irritation identity.  She can leave that where she found it.  I've had enough already.  If she thinks she's going to drive a car while talking the way she is now - um,
Jack is Jack.  Some days good, some days less great.  I guess I'm the same way.  I hope I'm not treating him the way he treats me, but honestly, some days it takes all I have to be civil.  Courteous.  And it also feels like he and Maggie are ganging up on me.  There's a chapter in one of my books that talks about that phenomenon.  I'm going to have to re-read.  It never really applied to me until now. 
Still praying that we will find the money for LT to go to college.  I'm still so angry at their biological father.  I can't believe he didn't leave them anything at his death.  I hope his parents are enjoying their money.  They can go on another cruise, or buy a house in Florida now.  It's always been about the money and it always will be.
Sorry for the negative thoughts today. It's just where I am.  I still believe all things will work out. I trust in my God.  I believe in Him.  (Please help me in my unbelief.) (Mark 9:24)