Thursday, November 29, 2012

I see the moon

This month has been crazy busy.  So much sadness and hurt in the world, so much going on.  I'm doing well with my al-anon living, even with being sick for most of the last 3 weeks.  Finally feeling better, but still not 100%.  Let's see what my ADD brain is containing for today:
We have been through 4 birthdays, thanksgiving, and now face a college graduation and Christmas.  Meanwhile, I've really been noticing the moon lately.  There is a full moon, a harvest moon even.  It has been big and bright and visible every night. One night I got up at 3:00 a.m., and it looked like there were floodlights on in the back yard.  It was that bright!
Our dear, dear neigbor passed away just last night.  It's so sad, but he was an older gentleman, WWII veteran, ex-POW, and had lived a full, good life.  As I looked up, I thought how many moons had washed their light over his life.  Through the times in a depression era, as a soldier in the POW camp, as his children were born, the days he planted and harvested his crops. 
Our lives ebb and change, and still the sun rises, sets, the moon rises, the moon changes.  That same moon that saw him through those years of trials and blessings will continue to shine on my life too.
For his life, I'm thankful.  And what a blessing to have gotten to know him.

Monday, November 12, 2012

It's the year of Al-Anon

Happy Birthday to me!  I've declared this to be the Year of Al-Anon in my life.  I'm going to be gentle with myself as I seek to NOT get sucked back in to the insanity that is Jack's alcoholism.  He decided to baptize me into the attempt on my birthday, acting like a complete ass, but I don't care.  We had a great lunch with my parents, our kids and the weather was lovely.  Our children need a parent who is sane and present, and to do that, I'm going to have to start acting like I'm getting better, using my al-anon tools and the support they provide.  Whether I feel like it or not!  It's been more trying with more health tests, but in the end, I think stress is eating away at my body.  I'm not willing to give in, nor be defeated by alcoholism.  I know this is going to be difficult.  But life is already difficult.  I will be okay, just for today.  Tears are a part of it, pain is a part of it, but so is joy.  And today, I'm choosing joy.  If you are the praying type, I'd appreciate your prayers for the kiddos and for me.  Even for Jack to see the truth.