Saturday, June 14, 2014

What an Adventure

Road trip 101.  First things first.  LT & I are on a road trip to visit the college of his choice that is about 600 miles from home.  It has been quite the adventure so far.  The first thing I learned – always bring an atlas.  Google maps and apple maps may be readily available on your phone, but they are not always the best indicators of the actual route you should take.  When in the world did we start listening to a machine to tell us where to go??!?  I’m firmly convinced that those things are updated by Scooter and Moron in the back room of an un-named tech company where they have been spending their days on drinking or smoking pot!  I kid.  I’m sure those products work fantastically.  However, I’m also certain that the people who wrote the code for them have never been inside the state of Missouri.  They can’t possibly know what they are doing.  We were driving around rural Missouri for 2 hours before I said enough – get back to a main highway!   Then, miraculously we found the western edge of Missouri and were on our way…I was so frustrated.  At least we were listening to Jim Gaffigan who had me laughing so hard I was crying.  Finally a good reason to cry. 
I’ve been having a rough time.  I’m not sure if it is all the change with LT, tiring of the drama with Jack’s drinking/alcoholism, my own hormones or what.  I cry all of the time. Over nothing.  Over everything.  I’m trying some changes to my antidepressants, so hopefully that will help SOON.
I’m currently trying to relax while LT is off at the U bonding with his fellow freshmen.  I hope it will work – for both of our sakes.  I do think he is in the write place.  After the orientation yesterday, I feel confident that he can thrive here.  Succeed.  Not just make it.  As long as he takes advantage of every opportunity for help that they offer, he will flourish.  That is my prayer for him. 

Sunday, June 8, 2014

A New Chapter

First I apologize for dropping off the face of the earth.  I've been battling severe depression, but with all the changes going on, I didn't recognize it for what it was.  LT's been living with grandparents.  While I know it's the right thing, it has made me so sad.  I miss him when he's not here.  It's been good to have him here this weekend.
Feeling back on track now - and it's a good thing!
Today is LT's high school graduation.  I woke up this morning at the crack of dawn and thought those same words and nearly had a panic attack.  But, HE IS GRADUATING!!  Several times we didn't now if that would happen yet.  But he worked hard, put his mind to it and DID it!  I'm so proud of him  And in a few days, we are going to visit his college of choice - 10 hours away.  I'm really proud of him for wanting to take this adventure - the price is slightly prohibitive, but I told him you only have to have the first payment for the first due date, and we'll face the next one as it comes.  If God wants him on this path, He will show us how to get there.
So today, there's church, graduation, his party, and then I collapse.  And start again tomorrow.  Hopefully I'll be able to post later tonight or tomorrow.  Please pray that the party goes well.  Jack and LT have been getting along so poorly, but it's really more LT acting like an adult than Jack.  That's just sad.
This is my boy, so long ago...