It just came to me - the real difference between Jack & me. The difference is in how we see the world. He sees parenting as an optional activity. You can choose to participate or you don't have to if you don't FEEL like it. I, on the other hand, feel that once you are a parent - that is a life role. The role changes as the child matures and ages, but it's not something you can opt out of. Wow. In that one key difference in how we see the world, lies the majority of his issues.
I'm not going to complain one bit. I'm a parent, and proud of it. I'm a parent to 2 wonderful biological children and 2 bonus children. Each of them has their own need for a parent, and they are each different. I'm not going to quit, so Jake, Abby, LT & Maggie - You can count on ME.
I love you all - even if you never see this.
Wife (Mama) Goes On
This is so true in my world. Once after our divorce, during one of our talks-because-he-is-alone-and-can't-be, he admitted to me that he liked divorce because he didn't have to be a full-time parent. He could live for the moment. He had them for fun times, and didn't have to deal with the day-to-day. It's an AWFUL thing, but it was an honest thing that he owned that day. I had already known it to be true.
ReplyDeleteIn our recent talk-because-he-is-alone-and-can't-be, he said, "We had kids too young." in response to his actions over the years. I pointed out that I was the same say, and he responded with a sheepish grin, "Well, one of us had to grow up."
And it's true. In our relationship, it was me. It still is me. And I wouldn't change it because I get to experience the growing up of these amazing little human beings. It's hard, but I am LUCKY.