Lately, what with the viral illness that seems to be going through our family, most normal activities seem to have stopped. Thankfully, I've not stopped reading my al-anon literature. As I described in a previous post, the ex-husband (who I now know was alcoholic, addicted to at least marijuana and other drugs) has filed this paper to reduce the amount he pays for child support. While my greatest desire is to simply ignore this situation and let it happen however, I will not put the kids at risk to possibly see him, so I trooped over to the attorney office today to see what's what. Thankfully, I can make use of the "legal aid" type of services available, so the cost for me to go through this is minimal. I had the 3rd person express to me that maybe his brain cancer is Karma or God's getting even for his actions. I thought today that I was cold thinking such things, but the people who've said so to me seem like normal kind people, not anyone out to destroy the world or anything. Soooo, maybe those are sort of normal thoughts in this most ab-normal situation.
I have been reading in Courage to Change, and it has especially been focusing on me looking at what my part in a situation is, my response, my responsibility (or NOT). I'm trying to keep that perspective in this situation too.
Then there is Abby, who has been calling so frequently it is weird behavior for her. Now I find out she has been cutting herself. I feel especially helpless in that circumstance too. I've been as supportive as I can, gave her names, info on how to contact insurance for various providers, told her to call anytime, we love her, and then I have to let her go on her journey. She really has bi-polar like symptoms, but she is a grown-up and has made choices to ensure that we know that.
In all this, it's sort of like alcoholism, in that I didn't cause it, I can't cure it, and I certainly can't control it!
Thank goodness I have that thinking to fall back upon when I wake up in the night, as I have, and start obsessing over what I can do. Which is basically follow through what is mine to do, and leave the rest to God.
So, for today, and every day, Let GO and Let GOD!