Sunday, March 20, 2011

He's Still There

The day started out as so many wondering if I'd done something wrong, if I had done this or said that, would Jack still be sleeping in the other room. Then I remembered to focus on what is true, what is real. What world I really live in. I talked myself out of the responsibilty when I have none - it isn't my fault, he spends so much time on p(o)rn because it is the easiest, most direct way to avoid human contact to get the endorphins flowing in his disfunctoinal, alcohol-soaked brain. There is nothing I could so, say, or think that would make it any different.
So I went to church. Still believing that God is here, that I'm not alone.
When I got to church, I was running late, as usual. I went inside as the first song ended, got my bulletin, and noticed that someone had written on it. It said "God is in Control." I thought, wow, that is just what I needed to be reminded of today. How cool that they are writing on the bulletins, must be because of Lent. Only, as I looked around, and later as people were leaving, I noticed NO other bulletins had writing on them. Only mine.
I am thankful today for the ways God works. Mysterious, quietly, loudly, amazingly. Just what I needed for the day.
Thank you God. I am not alone.

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