Does anyone ever have the feeling that you are caught in a "Groundhog Day" like life, except instead of the same day going by over and over again, it is the same round of manic, depressive, hurtful, kind, good, manic, depressive, hurtful, kind, good, manic....you get the drift? Is this the only house that deals with this? We are currently in the depressive, hurtful portion of the cycle. I have been reading a great website, Getting Them Sober. There, I have seen many great posts that talk about the fact that alcoholism is a progressive disease, and it will continue to progress as long as there is ongoing drinking in the alcoholic's life. I am seeing that so clearly in this situation. It is like watching a play by play in real life. I often wondered if one consumed such a quantity of alcohol every single day, if they could ever really have it out of their system. It appears from that website, that it is a valid question, and the answer is no -it is not ever out of their system. While I don't enjoy this cycle anymore, I am finally able to see that it is not my fault, I'm not the cause, the cure or controller. Thank you God for that message. And, the site also discusses how the alcohol really does change the brain chemistry, and that when they act so hateful, it is the alcohol talking, as it has such a hold on the alcoholic...and drives them to drink more, earlier, and greater amounts. And tonight, comes the control portion of the cycle. I'm in control because I can go to bed early and not drink. See I don't have a problem.
Thankfully, I know in whom I can trust, and He is sitting at the right hand of God.