I'm not quite sure what to call this post. In some ways, it has been a really bad week. But in some ways, more personal, it has been a really good week. It has been the first week where I have truly not lived in a reaction to the way my dear alcoholic has been treating me or acting. I really stepped away - detached - and just lived my life this week. I admit, it was a little scary, but incredibly freeing. I think I finally get the whole detachment idea that I have been struggling with so much. As very much of a people pleaser, it is very difficult to not want to make things all better. In this situation, and many others, I'm realizing, I.can't.do.it.
What a relief. I am not in charge of this person's happiness. While I wish that it was within my power to help, to make things better, it is NOT. I don't have that kind of power. It's really freeing.
On another front, I've also been doing a lot better at not paying any attention to the ramblings of a drunk. They are just words. Words have no power if they are not true. Words that are spoken aloud are not necessarily true. All are new-found ideas to me. I rather enjoy the reality!
Thank you God for showing me your presence this week. I am so thankful for your faithfullness and your care, even when I don't deserve it.