I'm actually trying to write to contribute to Pour Your Heart Out over at Things I Can't Say on Wednesday, the actual day she posts it. Even in small things, I'm making progress. Progress, not perfection - that's how the saying goes. What do I want to Pour my Heart Out about? That's the question. Why don't I just list some things on my mind - that I've been keeping in there, rattling about. A list seems fun, so here we go (and requires less effort from me today).
1. Abby will be graduating from college this weekend. Wow - can I just say how fast time has gone. We got married when she was going into her sophomore year of high school. I've seen her change in so many ways, and yet stay stuck in some others. It's surreal that she is an adult and now needs to find a job and go off on her own. Now if only her mom agreed! She's perfectly content to let her live for free at her house, not even asking about her plans. It makes me so angry. But, I guess what should I expect?
2. LT got a suit yesterday. His first one ever. He looked so grown up and handsome in it. Before I know it, he'll be graduating from high school (one hopes...), and be facing his own decisions about what to do. I'm trying so hard to let him handle what is his to do - grades are not in my control, doing his homework, cleaning his room - taking a shower....ugh! He's been tested for ADD. I'm not sure whether I hope he has it so it can be treated, or finding he doesn't have it and all of this difficulty is really his choice. He is such a caring, thoughtful young man. I couldn't be more proud of him. And really, a grade in algebra isn't the definition of him as a person. It's just got different importance to him that it did to me at that age, or does now as the parent.
3. Miss Maggie had a HUGE breakthrough this past weekend. She said something she shouldn't have said to Jack (but it was the truth...what do I do with that??!!). However, in an unprecedented turn of events, she realized she was really wrong for saying it and came on her own to apologize and seek forgiveness. It was truly a moving moment for me as a mom to see her finally "get" this piece of understanding about responsibility for her actions/apology that she has struggled over so much.
Jack seems to be through the latest of his dramas. It's so true that alcoholics can't seem to just be. To be content, to be normal, to not have some drama going on. I really can be happy and thankful for my blessings. Yes, there are burdens, but I choose to see the blessings.
And me - what about me? Still fighting this cold and cough, but still seeing the good. Thankful for a healthy family and a warm home. There have been times without that, so it's all good. I'm especially thankful for my parents who are still well and strong and working. I'm thankful for being able to laugh at the insanity that is my life. And I'm thankful for being able to laugh with my mom. She's so fun and funny and we've been through so much. I'm thankful for their marriage that has lasted over 45 years. What blessings they are to me, and to their grandchildren.
Now, if I could just find one of those Elves who would put up the Christmas decorations...