I have been confronted with a stunning realiztion - my kids need more of me.
How can this be? I live for these children. I've finally learned to not be all up in the alcoholic crazy every day, but after reading this post: ...Maybe They Need More of You, I realize that I've been removing myself from fully listening and being present with my kids. As teenagers, they need me now more than ever. I'm sitting here kicking myself for LT's grades in the first 9 weeks. I was watching them every day, and he seemed to be doing well, so I let it go, and thought he had it all under control. Well, now after the first grading period, he's NOT doing well at all. College ? Hello- is this important to anyone but me? Maybe I dropped the ball, maybe I shouldn't have trusted him to continue on a path even with my encouragement, etc. Whatever the case is, I don't feel like I've given enough of myself to either him or to Maggie.
God gets through to me in lots of ways. I think that post is one way, and I needed to hear it. Jack is so far out of my sphere of influence, that it is safe for me to stay detached with love. My children, however, need me. They need my presence and attention fully when we are together. While they need to continue to do chores, do their homework, have their jobs, etc., they need me too. Now that I know I can take care of me, it's time to take care of what is my part of taking care of them. Now that I better know who I am, maybe they can benefit from knowing me.
I just hope it's not too late.