Last night I was struck by a recurring theme at our house. When drinking, and more often lately, even when he's not, Jack is nicer to the dog than to any of the people in our home. He lavished praise on the dog last night, saying he's sorry for talking mean to her, since he realizes she's sensitive. Well that's thoughtful, but what about the way you speak to your CHILDREN!???!!!! Do you think they aren't sensitive to your way of speaking/yelling at them? Geez, how un-self-aware can a person be? The answer to that questions is pretty damn un-self-aware (I'm making up words now - look out Webster). Just for one day, I'd like to have a recording/camera crew follow us all around, and at the end of the day, without beer, Jack must watch the tape. I pray I'm living in such a way that I wouldn't be ashamed of what I see. But that's all I get to control.
School's coming to an end soon. If you are the praying kind, please pray for LT to get a job. He needs to be out of the house during the day or evening and receive encouragement and help to build his confidence. How can it be that in a few days I'll have two high-school children?? Where does the time go?
Will be praying.
ReplyDeleteIt would be interesting if you could film Jack and then let him watch it when sober....maybe a nanny cam is in order? LOL
OOOOhhhh - Nanny cam -brilliant idea. Hadn't thought of that. LOL. I'm thinking that would be fun.
DeleteI agree! But even a tape recorder might do the trick? Doubt it!
ReplyDeleteOH MY GOSH! I have been there. You always think that they will wake up and see things clearly, but they wake up with the same drunk logic that they had the night before. No, that's not exactly how it happened. Not even remotely close!
ReplyDeleteI can tell that I am going to LOVE your blog. I'm in awe that you are able to stay with the drinking. Sister, you have way more strength than I did.
I will be praying for you!
*sigh* my heart just goes out to you. I've been looking over your blog and I...I don't know. Not to be weird, but I totally want to hug you. I grew up in a home with two functional alcoholics. My father is the heavier drinker, but it was my mother who was meaner, oddly. Furthermore, while my ex-husband was not an alcoholic, he was abusive (as you know from my post) and at one point or another he was addicted to all kinds of other stuff (cocaine, porn, chat lines, pot...whatever).
ReplyDeleteYou are right, though. You cannot save him. You can only save yourself and your children...damage control is the name of the game right? Continue to pray, and so will I. You will be in my prayers often.
Are you okay? Haven't seen a post in a month. Just wondering!
ReplyDelete