Monday, April 23, 2012

Freedom - for today

Well, Jack is gone for a few days, and I'm pretty darn excited about it.  He gave me the best hug and goodbye I've had in months.  He even wore his wedding ring. When I get home tonight, it will be so nice to know that the kids will be there, the dog will be there, and we will have a good evening. No one will be drinking.  Yippee!  I may even enjoy a glass of wine one day this week.  Now that's something unusual.  I feel bad, a little tiny bit, about feeling so joyful, but really, it's just a break, and I think we all needed one.
Last week I read a fantastic book, in one afternoon, actually, it's called If You Loved Me, You'd Stop.  It was SO good.  It really captured so much good information in one book about alcoholism.  It gave me some great things to point out, especially to L.T., who seems to get the brunt of Jack's ridiculous expectations and flippant anger.  After the last few weeks, I really do see very clearly that God has a purpose for this time in our lives.  I told L.T. that God will use this for a purpose.  We just can't see what that is yet.
I'm so thankful for good resources, for the help and experiences and thoughts others share, via Al-Anon or other blogs.  I just wish the kiddos had Ala-Teen nearby.  It would be so helpful for them.  I guess they get theirs from me, on good days.
Abby has really been struggling as the semester wraps up.  Between her mom's issues, her brother's guilt-tripping from a federal institution and the alcoholic dad, it's no wonder she's a wreck.  I am so glad she's gone to church with me for the last three weeks, and she wants to go back this week.  It is SO good for her, even for 90 minutes, to hear nothing but positive and encouraging words and music. 
If you are the praying type, please pray for all of the kids. Maggie seems to "suffer" the least, but even she just wants her daddy to hug on her sometimes.  L.T. needs to get his act together and understand that he needs to focus to get through high school and get to college.  He's SO intelligent, it drives me nuts that he's so laissez-faire about his homework/grades.  And at what point did I ever indicate homework was an optional exercise....grrrrrrr!  I hope he will get a job this summer.  I want him to have a positive experience where he can gain some independence and confidence.  Lord Willing!
I'll keep you updated on our excitement this week.  Hoping to get a few house-hold fixes done, and eat some good meals!  That I don't have to Cook!  We'll be the ones
Take Care!


  1. I'm glad you're getting a break; I think you need one. So much on your plate coming from all different directions. It'll help to take a breath.

  2. Just a mini-vacation needed by you and the kids. Don't feel a bit of guilt--just enjoy.