So I've been thinking about blogging for so long. It's been a short but long time coming. Living with an alcoholic is so draining. I want somewhere to talk about it. I hope that I can stay focused on the positive things. I love my Al-Anon group. They are an amazing group of people who always have something good to say - a way to make it seem like there is light in the world. But sometimes, the chaos and constant roller coaster ride are too much. It is so hard to come home from church to find out I've been a horrible wife the past 3 months, and my husband wants nothing to do with me, but yesterday when I got up I was sweetie, and loved and cherished. What happened to that person? Is it wrong to want a time of calm? I never knew anyone like this before. Why did I have to be sucked in and never get a view of what I was getting until after marriage, after my children love this man as the father they never had, after I love the other children as if I'd given birth to them. It is so not fair. I thank God that He is in control and I am not. He loves us more than I love any of my family, a concept I sometimes can't really get, but I have to belive. I have to believe that He can do immeasurably more than I can ask and believe. I have to. Otherwise, I couldn't get up in the morning.
I hope you'll comment if you're reading this. Bless you.