Sunday, February 27, 2011

Accepting the things I cannot Change

It seems like what all the books say are true. Alcoholism is a progressive disease. They say that the mean things the alcoholic says are really aimed at himself. If that is true, he must be feeling pretty horrible. How do I stay on God's side of compassionate, and not be reactive and hurt? It is a hard walk.
Jack says one thing then acts the opposite. He says he doesn't fit in the family, when he's the one who is separating himself. This is truth. Regardless of the chaos going on in his head, the truth is still the truth. I hope I can always see it. Even when it is hard. Today - IT.IS.HARD. Progression is not fun. I've changed my prayer to whatever it takes, God, to heal him of his pain and alcoholism. I pray that today, fervently. I pray that God will do whatever it takes to heal him. Before it's too late. I'm going to continue working my program, doing what is good for the family, even if he doesn't like it. So he sleeps in the other room. If I'm honest with myself, I sleep better. There are lots of books that say infidelity goes with lots of alcoholics. I am one of those lucky winners too. Just more hurt coming out to hurt more people. What I can change, I will change, what I cannot change, I accept; and I pray that I have the wisdom to know the difference.

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