LT and I made the trip over to his biological chromosome donator's funeral last night. Maggie didn't want to go, and I saw no reason she should, so we were by ourselves. Not going to lie - a little bit nervous. In the end, after much prayer and covering by others in prayer - there was grace in the whole situation. We were welcomed with love and hugs by those who loved us before, and even some who weren't so loving. LT was able to say goodbye to the person who left so long ago. And I think some healing was done by all.
If it weren't for my experiences in Al-Anon and with all the caring people in my home group, I know I couldn't have driven to that town, let alone entered the place with LT. So thankful for forgiveness, healing, and grace. That is what we all hope to offer and be offered in this life.
So today, I look with grace upon Jack. Praying some day that he will feel it and be able to return it.
So proud of LT and what a kind, thoughtful young man he is. Truly blessed.
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Thankfully, it feels okay. It feels like we can close that chapter of our life. Our hurts, our fears, our tears, our pain. All of it is behind us now. We no longer have to live in fear that he will show up and want something from any of us. I'm thankful for God's protection all this time, and what we now have for today and every day after this.
I can remember driving to my ex father-in-law funeral--I was scared silly and then welcomed so much by the family that used to be mine. I adored him, he adored me--I was glad I went, although I sat in the back row and looked at the back of my kid's heads who were sitting up front with the other grandchildren--that made me feel weird. I hope this helps LT and Maggie!!!
ReplyDeleteIt was really strange to be there - i literally hadn't seen anyone in over 10 years. Some of them were very close to me at that time, and it hurt not seeing them. But so thankful to be welcomed - even at that difficult time. His wife was so gracious too.
DeleteI just discovered your blog and appreciate hearing your stories, so much.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your honesty and your encouragement.
My husband is an alcoholic as well and I haven't been going to Al-Anon for a while...until i get back there, blogs like yours really help!
take care and God Bless.
Kristen - thank you for your kind words. I hope that you can get back to Al-Anon soon. I've been away for too many weeks as well. Thankfully my books and blogs help! Blessings to you.
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