I have to say that I am shocked. At first I thought it was suprise. But really, it is shocked. I am shocked because over the last few weeks of Jack's "episode" of not involving in the family, crass comments, usual stuff has resulted in a different response from me. I let him be in that place. I didn't try to stop it, I didn't try to fix it, I didn't try to control it. I continued to act the way I would any other day. And it was WONDERFUL! I truly learned what it meant to detach. I've struggled so hard with that word, that verb, that process, everything about detachment has seemed impossible to me. However, It really Worked!!! Just like they say in Al-Anon - Keep Coming Back, It Works if you Work It and we Work It because We're WORTH It!
It even seemed to have a good effect on the kids. What a blessing to finally see progress in ME! And the situation resolved itself like always, only I didn't have all those bad feelings of guilt, shame, self-doubt. What a relief!
I only wish everyone who lives with an alcoholic could see that light of hope - even for a moment.
I found your blog through T-Shirt's. I have saved it and will read everyday--although I may not comment. Just wanted you to know that I lived your life for 25+ years. I didn't have the help from Al-Anon, but did from God. It is the only way to continue on. I can do whatever I have to do through Christ, who gives me strength. I finally divorced him--much to my chagrin, he remarried and stayed sober--which made me feel like a failure because I couldn't help him stay that way. Sometimes I guess, you just have to let them fall all the way down and try and maintain a happy attitude just for you, through it all.
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